Wedding traditions are an odd thing. If you’re already married, you might be wondering why you did certain things on your day. If you’re planning a wedding, you might wonder which you should include. Below I’ve listed the most popular wedding traditions, where they originated and whether I think you should include them in your day. Now remember, these are all based on my own opinions so if you choose to include something I say dump, I won’t be offended. A wedding day is a very personal thing and should be treated as such. Now, on to the traditions!
Why does the bride wear a veil?
1. The veil
We’re starting with perhaps the most controversial and disagreed upon part of wedding day traditions: the wedding veil. This one has a very disputed past. Brides.com says, “It dates back to ancient times when people “wrapped brides from head to toe to represent the delivery of a modest and untouched maiden.” while Richmond.com thinks it is used “In an effort to frighten away or disguise the bride from evil spirits, brides-to-be were dressed in brightly colored fabrics like red and obscured by a veil.” There is also a third opinion that it was used in arranged marriages to hide the lady from her groom until they were already married and he uncovered her for the kiss, thus preventing him seeing her and backing out.
Verdict: KEEP!
Whether to ward off spirits or preserve your modesty, a veil can make a great addition to a wedding dress. You don’t even need to do the whole palaver of pulling it over your face for the ceremony, many brides simply wear it over their back the whole day. But it does come in useful during wedding couple portraits to create a sense of intimacy with you both under the veil.
Why does the groom stand on the right?
2. The groom standing on the right
Strap yourself in because we’re about to delve into explaining the most bonkers reason for a wedding tradition. So when you think about the wedding ceremony, you think of the wedding couple standing up at the altar with an officiant, and traditionally if it’s a bride and groom then the groom would be on the right. Why does he stand there you ask? Well, this is where things get bonkers.
The reason the groom stands on the right is because traditionally people were right handed in ye olden times, left handedness being a sign of wickedness. So if the groom was right handed, standing on the right and holding the brides hand with his left……do you see where this is going?
Probably you don’t because the reason for this is so he had access to his sword hand in case somebody came to try and take his bride. Why would someone try and take his bride you ask? Well in medieval times marriages were often forced and sometimes the brides family would try and fight to get her back. So literally during the ceremony the groom could take up his sword and start hacking away at his in-laws.
Verdict: DITCH!
Stand wherever you want, heck even switch it up mid ceremony just to throw people for a loop. This outdated tradition doesn’t even take into account that a wedding might have two grooms, or none at all and thus needs to fall by the wayside.
Why does the father give away the bride?
3. Father giving away their daughter
Yet another wedding tradition dating back to the middle ages when women were considered property, yay! eye roll yes this was literally from a time when a woman would go from living with her parents to being “given” to her husband by her father in a “she’s your problem now buddy!” fashion. As Brighthub Education states, “The tradition of “giving away” would signify that the bride's family would no longer have control over her or her possessions”. Thankfully we’ve moved into the 21st century and this tradition no longer has the same literal meanings anymore.
Verdict: DITCH(ish)!
While I dislike the origins of the tradition, I think it’s nice to be walked down the aisle by someone you love to signify a changing of the guard of sorts. It could be your Dad, Mum, Bestie, whoever. I think we can do away with the officiant asking who “gives them away” though because people don’t get given away.
What is the deal with the garter toss?
4. Garter/Garter toss
I’m just gonna give spoilers here and say yes this one should absolutely be ditched because it is the cringiest one of all. Where does it come from? According to Roberts Centre: “This tradition originated in England and France. Guests would try to obtain a piece of the bride’s dress for good luck, which often left the bride nervous and tense throughout the entire ceremony in anticipation of her dress being ripped to shreds by the eager mob of wedding guests. To pacify the crowd and ease the bride’s mind, the groom began tossing out a piece of the bride’s wedding attire to distract the guests as the newlyweds made a quick escape from the reception.”
WHAT. Weddings are so weird. So to stop her dress being destroyed by a mob, the groom had to give away part of the dress. Nowadays that has translated to the groom going up the brides dress and then throwing it to all the single men in the crowd.
Verdict: DITCH!
Aside from it being weird, it’s also super awkward to photograph someone with their head under someones dress as their parents look on. Also no single guys want to catch it.
Should we let them eat wedding cake?
5. Wedding cake
You’re probably thinking this one is obvious, it’s a cake made to feed the guests, right? WRONG. The wedding cake was originally yet another attempt to show a woman the only thing she was good for in life: fertility. The cakes would have originally been made from wheat which symbolizes fertility. They wouldn’t have been eaten, no instead they would have been thrown at the bride. Imagine how great a wedding would be if people just threw cake at you. I’d be down for that.
Nowadays it has evolved into the meaning of bringing the couple together for their first joint task after the ceremony and to symbolize that they can work together as a team. Nowadays, some couples choose not to go the whole extravagant tiered cake and instead do cupcakes or other desserts for their guests.
Verdict: KEEP!
As a dessert lover, I love getting to eat cake at weddings. But don’t feel like you have to go with cake if that isn’t your thing. Pies, cupcakes, macarons, ice cream. Put your own twist on this one!
What’s the deal with wedding rings?
6. Wedding rings
There’s a couple interesting traditions around wedding rings. In ye olden times they were placed on the left hand third finger because it was believed there was a vein in that finger that travelled all the way to the heart. Unfortunately that isn’t true but to this day people choose to still wear rings on that finger. The ring itself is a symbol of continuity being that a circle never ends, it was used to symbolise that your love for each other will never end.
Verdict: KEEP!
There’s nothing wrong with this tradition, just remember you don’t have to do the plain gold band and can inject your personality into a ring that you could potentially (hopefully) wear for a long time.
You do you, boo.
At the end of the day, the traditions you choose to honor on your wedding day are entirely up to you. Don’t feel you need to include something just because others did or it’s considered a tradition. If you don’t want to do something on your wedding day, don’t! It’s your wedding day and you can do it entirely as you please.
BONUS KNOWLEDGE
Did you know wedding dresses didn’t used to be white? They used to be colorful, but quite plain. It wasn’t until 1840 when Queen Victoria wore an extravagant white dress at her wedding that the trend of white dresses really took off.